RESOURCES
LANGUAGE GUIDE
Language is important and can play a vital role in a young LGBTQIA+ or Autistic person’s life. While we all have good intentions, sometimes it is easy to slip up and offend a young person unintentionally. If this happens, correct yourself in the moment and continue without focussing on the mistake. Knowing and using the right language is the first step in demonstrating respect and understanding. The following list is a short guide to appropriate language to use when speaking to, or about, transgender or Autistic people.
AVOID…
terms like ‘tranny’, ‘transgendered’, ‘transgenderism’, ‘the transgender’, ‘a trans’ (as an adjective not a noun or verb), ‘aspy/aspie’, ‘severly Autistic’, ‘profoundly autistic’ or ‘high or low functioning’. Avoid describing or defining a person by their gender unless it’s relevant. Avoid referring to Autism as a medical disorder that someone suffers from.
DO…
use terms such as ‘transgender’, ‘trans and gender diverse’ or ‘trans’ as a noun or verb. Focus on the person, not the gender. Understand that being transgender is a part of the wider gender spectrum and do not refer to it as a choice or a decision. Refer to someone who is Autistic with identity-first-language, e.g. Kyle is Autistic.
DON’T…
ask about past names but if you know it, don’t use it unless you have permission to, with the person having full understanding of how it will be used. Don’t refer to a transgender person as being born or ‘trapped’ in the wrong body (unless, that is how they describe themselves).
PRONOUNS
The select use of pronouns is a deeply personal and empowering choice for a trans or gender diverse person yet it is best to not assume a person’s pronouns. Rather than asking ‘what is your preferred pronoun?’, it is more appropriate to ask ‘what is your pronoun?’. So rather than putting a trans person on the spot by asking them their pronouns, best practice is to offer your own pronouns when you introduce yourself. This indicates that it's safe to share pronouns if people want or need to do so, but doesn't put pressure on people to have to do so if they're still questioning and are unsure about what pronouns to use, or don't care about pronouns and don't want to have to pick. If in doubt, or if ever writing about a trans or gender diverse person’s past, use their current name and pronouns. Demonstrate respect by not questioning or correcting their pronoun, and understand that some people will have gender-neutral pronouns such as singular they/them/their, or neo-pronouns such as ey/em/eir or it/it/its (such as the ones used by the furry character drawn by Aether in the film).
KEY TERMS
Affirmation
(also referred to as ‘transition’ or ‘transitioning’)
This is a process of someone affirming their gender identity. It’s a very personal process and can look very different from one person to another. Some of the steps that people can take include: changing their name and pronoun, as well as their gender expression (clothes, hairstyle, etc.), to reflect their gender identity; amending legal documents such as their passport and birth certificate; taking hormones and puberty blockers; and undergoing surgery. People might do all of these things, or only one or two. There is no right or wrong way to affirm gender or to transition.
Agender
A term to describe someone who doesn’t identify with any gender.
Autism
Autism is a neurological difference that affects how a person thinks, feels, interacts with others, and experiences their environment. In te reo Māori the word for Autism is Takiwātanga.
Binary
This is the way the world primarily defines gender – as male or female – with nothing in between. Gender can be viewed in a non-binary way, as a spectrum or as expansive.
Cisgender/Cis
This term is used to describe people whose gender corresponds to the sex they were assigned at birth.
Gender Diverse
This term is used to describe people whose gender is different to the sex they were assigned at birth.
Gender Fluid
This term is used to describe a person whose gender identity varies over time.
Gender Identity
Gender identity is our internal experience and naming of our gender. It can correspond to, or differ from, the sex we were assigned at birth.
Masc/Femme
These are terms generally used to describe someone’s gender expression or identity, with ‘masc’ referring to more masculine-appearing/identifying people and ‘femme’ referring to those who are more feminine in their appearance/identification. It’s good to remember that someone may not identify as male or female but may still have a masc or femme expression.
Neurodiversity
The idea that people with brains that work differently are part of the normal range in humans.
Neurodivergent
Neurodivergent is a word to describe anyone whose way of thinking, understanding and processing information, and interpreting their environment is significantly different from the majority. There are lots of ways to be neurodivergent, including autism, ADHD (attention deficit hyperactivity disorder), dyslexia, OCD (obsessive compulsive disorder), Tourette Syndrome and so many more.
Neurotypical
A word to describe people who are not neurodivergent.
Non-binary
(also known as ‘gender non-conforming’, ‘gender queer’ or ‘gender fluid’)
Refers to someone who doesn’t identify as either male or female.
Queer
‘Queer’ is an umbrella term that a diverse range of LGBTQIA+ people may use to describe themselves or to identify as. Historically, it would have been used as a slur, but it has been reclaimed by the communities themselves.
Transgender/Trans
A term for someone whose gender identity does not align with their sex assigned at birth. This term is often used as an umbrella term, recognising that people may describe themselves in many ways including the use of Indigenous terms such as: sistergirl/brotherboy (used within some Aboriginal or Torres Strait Islander communities) whakawāhine; tangata ira tāne, tāhine (Māori); māhū (Hawai’i and Tahiti); vakasalewalewa (Fiji); palo- pa (Papua New Guinea); fa’afafine (Samoa); akava’ine (Rarotonga); fakaleiti or leiti (Tonga); fakafifine (Niue).